In search of Hector

Patriarchy. Who has not heard this word? It is fed to us with annoying daily cadence. We are also told that the problems of our Western society are caused by male arrogance, by a wrong definition of the role of the male, almost incurably ill with an archaic machism that is past its sell-by date.

Yet it should be obvious that the opposite is true. That is, we live in a society that is all too feminine and feminized, in which the yin principle prevails over the yang and the other half does not move in harmony with its natural complement.

Does courtly love still have a place in a society obsessed with appearance and the quest for instant gratification, a society in which many men seem to appreciate attitudes and softness that would have horrified the ancients?

It is the lack of true masculinity in many men that, together with its obsessive stigmatization due to the latest waves of raging feminism, is the root of some of the most marked ills of our modern society. Not many are aware of this, men and women alike.

There is, however, a reaction against masculine spiritual decadence. The Internet hosts many videos extolling the rejection of the woke non-culture and its negligible and insubstantial values, and a certain literature has developed made up of real, lived experiences, of calm but no less decisive analyses. Tradition is the word that resonates despite the noise that would like to nullify it.

There would not have been Covid's madness if there had not also been a certain cheap feminism, an obsessive and compulsive hater of the male figure, perhaps because he is perceived both as a natural competitor and as something (erroneously) superior. During the Covid, Roberto Giacomelli delighted us with his “Beyond the Weak Male”, a small manual of male resistance, and now it is Matteo Carnieletto's turn with his “In Search of Hector”, a journey that is both introspective and universal on the male figure, the paternal and patriarchal figure, and its tremendous duties.

Hector and Achilles, two male figures different in choice and deportment who face the destiny that binds them, becoming two symbols that are still relevant today and on which to reflect.

Matteo Carnieletto is a prolific and captivating author, who manages to put intimate thoughts into his pen in a way that I would not be able to. It is for this reason that I asked him to tell us more about Hector and Achilles.

1) Why did you feel the need to write this book?

A) Because, at some point in my life, I asked myself: but who am I? In fact: who do I want to be? I looked inside myself and saw that there was still room for improvement. I looked around for examples but noticed that there were none. So, I set out in search of Hector, precisely. Talking with the psychologist who was following me, who really represents a white fly in that world, we came across this heroic figure and, together, we decided to look into it...

2) “Esto vir”. Choose honor. What do you think “hero” means in these modern days of ours?

A) Today, for me, a hero is someone who quietly does what he or she has to do and, above all, stays anchored in real life and not virtual life. We may not realize it, but the fact that more and more people live online and do not know how to cultivate relationships is the great emergency of our time. We are increasingly lonely and, therefore, weaker. And that is exactly what a certain Power wants.

3) So, who is Hector and what is his path?

A) Hector is first and foremost a man. Today, unfortunately, the male figure is wisely taken apart because of his strength, which is mistaken for violence. Mind you, there is a problem with male violence, but it comes precisely from those males who are most fragile. Which are males, precisely. And not men. It is a not insignificant difference because to become a man means to make a path of ascent, which never ends. And then Hector is a nobleman, so a person who submits to duties; a husband because he honors his wife; a father because he knows what path to show his son; and a fighter because he is willing to give his life for those he loves.

4) Who is Hector's nemesis and why are the two so different?

A) In today's reality he is the weak male, while in the Iliad he is certainly Achilles. Who is a bit of his alter ego that is also in each of us.

5) Yet they share a common fate, as common is their tragic end...

A) Both die in combat, but something paradoxical happens. Achilles decides to have a short life (after all, we cannot even imagine him old and bedridden sick) because he dreams of a glorious end. What happens to him? He is killed by Paris, the most fearful of fighters, shot by an arrow, then with a weapon that does not allow close combat, the one in which you can hear and see his opponent. We all remember Achilles' end, but almost with sarcasm. Hector, on the other hand, wanted to live but chooses to die to try to save those he loves. And we all remember his glorious end and the torment of his body, perpetrated by Achilles.

6) In your travels, in your reports did you meet modern Hector's that were nothing like the original Hector?

A) In everyday life one sees many Hector. Or at least many shades of Hector. Certainly, I saw him in my father, very quiet, who always did whatever he had to do, often several sacrifices, without ever letting it weigh him down. But I remember for example a Syrian friend of mine who, at the height of the war, went to work and made (and protected) two children. Fortunately, all is not lost. In fact, I think there is a great need for new Hector and that so many males have realized this.

7) What can Hector teach us to make our lives more true and complete? Are his teachings perhaps timeless?

A) His teachings are undoubtedly eternal. Hector is a classic, so he is beyond time. In fact: he is beyond time. To have good examples, and not the football player or the star of Only Fans, I think is useful to live more fully. And to answer that question that man has always had within himself: who am I? And what am I doing in the world? Here, I believe that to answer this question every man must first ask himself: what is my manhood? And what use can I make of it?